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Friendship in Adulthood

In the book of Genesis we see God creating man and shortly after commenting that it is not good for man to be alone. While this chapter is largely related to marriage, it paints the picture that man was created, and God’s intent was for him to live in community with others.


In the New Testament Jesus talks about friendship in John 15:12-13. He says,“This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down his own life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.” The command to love people is likely not lost on you. In friendship we must hold fast to putting self aside and loving one another well. True, meaningful friendships mean being in the valley and on the mountain top with one another, trusting that we are there to lend an ear, or give advice, or lend a helping hand at a moments notice. 


Thinking back upon your childhood will likely bring fond memories of the friendships you had. I can vividly remember the abundance of friendships growing up. Childhood friendships seem to come more naturally than adult friendships. Children easily bond over games, similar interests, and simply living in close proximity. In adulthood, you interact with people in similar fashion, but the friendship connection doesn’t seem to be made as easily as it did when we were children. And that’s okay.  Although the number of friends may decrease with age, the quality of those adult friendships probably increases. As Christians, what truly matters is the quality of these friendships, and how you live out these friendships with the goal of glorifying Christ. As we see in Genesis, and more fully in the life of Jesus, friendships matter!


 Maybe you feel alone and unable to connect with peers the way you once were able as a child. The fear of rejection can be a major hurdle in developing adult friendships. The simple demands of life can also work against our friendships. So, how do we connect with new people? The hard part is making oneself available, especially if you are naturally an introvert. A practical way in which to meet new people is to insert yourself in places where there are people who you would generally share interest with. This looks like going to outdoor areas if you enjoy being outdoors, or in a coffee shop if you enjoy coffee and conversations. At Restoration Church, show-up at different gathering opportunities like Bible studies, RGroups, baby showers, and prayer nights. Serving in different ministry areas is also a great way to get to know new people as well as inviting an acquaintance over to your home for supper. It takes a little vulnerability, but inviting someone new into your life makes life sweeter and brings glory to GOd. 


Finally, the Bible paints a picture of what a friendship with a purpose looks like through discipleship. An adult friendship united through Christ should mimic the purpose of discipleship. We are meant to encourage one another, hold each other accountable, and most importantly glorify Christ in our lives lived out together. I encourage you to seek this level of purpose and direction in your current and future friendships. 

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