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When You Spouse is also your Co-Worker

What is it like working with your spouse? I often get this question asked of me. I work in the wedding industry and my husband often assists as a second photographer or works as a videographer alongside me in my career. The simple answer is, “It’s great!!” We get to attend a wedding together, receive a free meal + dessert, and maybe reminisce about our own wedding day or engage in commentary of the sights we see at a particular wedding. Overall it’s fun…Well, unless we’re behind schedule, my tone comes across as harsh/mean, or I critique (in an unloving manner) the way my husband is working. Then it may result in not speaking to each other for the rest of the day, or a silent car ride home from the wedding. Relatable to anyone else?

Working together, in a career, does add a different aspect to our relationship that we’ve had to navigate as a couple. You don’t get to go home at the end of a work day and ignore the problem until you face your co-worker/boss etc, tomorrow. Instead you sleep in the same room as the person you just disagreed with or were untactful to!!! If I told you it was easy, that no one got upset and it was always smooth sailing, I would be lying. What close relationship is ever like that? Just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s bad. A lot of growth can be cultivated for the both of us. Understanding the other’s personality, tendencies, the way their brain works, and being in tune with their strengths and weaknesses has been incredibly helpful in continuing to work in a professional manner together, but also in parenting, leading a small group, choosing how we schedule our calendar, etc. 

I love personality tests! I have enjoyed them since my early teens. Taking any personality test from, “What Disney Princess Are You?” to “Spiritual Gifts Tests,” intrigues me! Let me give a disclaimer here though, personality tests (Myers Briggs, StrengthFinders, Enneagram) are all helpful tools, BUT they are not the Bible. Just because you may “score high” in a certain area does not give you an excuse to live foolishly in that characteristic. However, the results of these assessments have been very helpful to my husband and me. They help us relate to one another, understand how the other views their surroundings, how we communicate differently, approach conflict, and how we work together. It’s given us new vocabulary to use in our communication when there is conflict or when a situation needs to adapt or change. These assessments have helped one of us see the others perspective or perception of a situation. I believe it has given us each an appreciation to see the others strengths and extend grace when they differ from our own tendencies. 

We’re each made in the image of God. And regardless of the relationship, as Christians we should always treat others as God’s image bearers. Whether it be a work relationship, in marriage, parenting, or friendship, when we make an effort to understand the deeper workings of an individual it can give us an appreciation, understanding, and more grace to extend to them. It also gives a beautiful picture of our Creator and His character! 

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