Keep Your Mouth Shut

 It happens so easily. One moment you are in a conversation about a certain subject and the next moment someone’s name is attached to that subject. Maybe you are discussing divorce and the prevalence and harm it causes. In the next moment, someone chimes in, “Did you know __________ is having marital problems? I heard it from my neighbor. Apparently, they are on the verge of a divorce.” And then your curiosity is piqued. Maybe you heard something similar and want to add in your two cents. So, you find yourself discussing the couple and what you ‘know’ about their marital problems, ending the conversation, as any good Christian would, with “We should pray for them.” But you don’t pray, and you move on to another topic. That is gossip. So sneaky. So easy. So damaging.  

I fear gossip and yet I find myself, at times, slipping into it. I find it especially prevalent among women and I rarely see a difference in gossiping between Christian circles and non-Christian groups. I have been part of several different churches over the course of my lifetime and unfortunately have seen the damage that gossip does inside the church. To be honest, I often shy away from submitting prayer requests because I have seen how quickly that can go from an intention to pray, to gossiping about that person and including others who were never meant to hear that request.  It seems like gossip is a sin that often gets a free pass from Christian peers. Why is this?  

Let’s start by defining gossip. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, Gossip is conversation or reports about other people's private lives that might be unkind, disapproving, or not true. Next, let’s see what the Bible says about gossip. 

 “You must not pass along false rumors. You must not cooperate with evil people by lying on the witness stand.” – Exodus 23:1(NLT) 

“Do not spread slanderous gossip among your people. Do not stand idly by when your neighbor’s life is threatened. I am the Lord.” – Leviticus 19:16  

“Hiding hatred makes you a liar; slandering others makes you a fool. Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.” – Proverbs 10:18-19  

“A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.” - Proverbs 11:13  

A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends. – Proverbs 16:28  

I could type at least two more pages full of Bible verses about how God does not want his people to gossip. But here is the one I find the most convicting.  

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” – James 1:26 (NIV) 

Ouch. Not only does gossip damage another person’s reputation while breaking trust and confidence, but gossip damages our witness about Jesus Christ and his power to free us from bondage, sin, and death.  

So, what can you do if you are struggling with this sin? What can you do if you have created or allowed a culture of gossiping in your friendships and circles of people?  

1). Examine your heart. Ask God to reveal the sin of gossip in your life. Psalms 26:2 says, “Put me on trial, Lord, and cross-examine me. Test my motives and my heart.” (NLT)  

2). Confess your sin to God. Ask him for forgiveness. Repent. 1 John 1:9 says, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”  

3). Take it a step farther and ask God if there is anyone that you need to apologize to for slandering their name or reputation. Proverbs 28:13 says, “People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.”  

4). Ask another believer you trust for accountability in turning away and stopping the sin of gossip. James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”  

5). Do not stand for it in your circles of relationships, be that with your friends, your family, your co-workers, or your spouse. Do not encourage gossip. Stay quiet and silent when you hear others gossiping. Sometimes, that is enough to make it stop. However, if the gossip does not stop then be bold AND gentle in your rebuke. Galatians 6:1 says, “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.”  

I will leave you with one last scripture verse that I have been meditating on related to controlling my tongue in all forms! “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”- Ephesians 4:31-32